So I’m starting something completely different here on this blog. I’m sure my normal (sporadic) blogs about just the way I’m living will still pop up but I want to use this domain to create a space that I think is really missing, at least for me. A space for Christian Left(ish) folks.
I think in this time, a year after Trump and just days after GOP candidate Roy Moore is seemingly absolved of molesting a child bc “Joseph and Mary had Jesus” I’ve been really really wrestling. I’ve been wrestling about the trauma that Christian people in power have inflicted on people and how I, as a Christian, can work to acknowledge that trauma and create a space for healing. I’ve been wrestling with what it even means to have Left politics while still being a part of a religion that actively worked to colonize the world. I’ve been wrestling with the fact that I’m reading Ezekiel and God likens Israel to child prostitutes who “let” grown men fondle their breasts!
Earlier this year I was reading about the story of Jacob. Jacob wrestled with God so much that God broke his hip, but also he blessed him. I’ve carried that small passage with me a lot while I’ve wrestled.
Typically, I find that I’m not really wrestling with God but the way the Christian God is represented. I’m wrestling with the God I know to be true and the God that others say to be true. It’s a tension that I’ve talked about on here a little. I used to always think that this tension would go away. I thought that there would be a time when I would just wake up and realize that all of my thoughts were wrong and I’ll magically just stop asking these questions.
Through prayer and reading I’ve accepted this as a gift from God because I honestly can’t stop talking about it. I love reading my Bible more than almost any form of worship. I recently downloaded a Bible software for no other reason than I wanted a tool that would allow me to dig deep in the original meanings of words in the Bible. I get excited seeing popular verses in context during my One Year Bible Plan. I’m always searching for deep cut verses to really get to the heart of the matter.
Currently, I haven’t found a group of people who are able to really nerd out about the Bible while also accepting that Christianity as a structure is pretty horrendous. I typically find liberal Christians who are not interested in using the Bible as a lens for analysis or agnostic/atheist leftists who are seeing Christianity as an oppressive structure but can’t fully connect with my spiritually.
I’ve already dabbled in this kind of writing over time on this space but I see this being more pointed. Making an effort to really dig into the questions I’ve been asking God to create a community of people who are not afraid to point the big questions at God. To really see the Bible as an invitation to learn more about God and not simply an instruction manual for life. I also really want to see how our culture has used religion and specifically Christianity as a tool of oppression and a scapegoat for bad behavior (like idk MOLESTING A 14 YEAR OLD).
Some guiding verses I’m carrying with me into this journey
- “The word of god For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12
- “The Teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true.” Ecclesiastes 12:10
- “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7
- “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19
Wish me Godspeed, glory because I’m going to try to do this consistently and well for at least the next year after flirting with the idea for far too long.